I Get Grossed Out When My Roommate is Sick—Am I A Bad Person?

I wrote this a long time ago upon one of the many times my roommate has been sick.  She is sick again now and found it appropriate.  Proud to report that I bought crackers and soup today...

It is a well-known fact that I am the person to ask if you need hand sanitizer. It has just as important of a spot in my purse belongings as a tube of Burt's Bees or a tampon does. Disinfectant spray, clean counters, organizational shelves—I'm your average neat-freak. People know this about me. My roommates, especially, know this.

One of my roommates has recently come down with a small cold. Rather than offer soup, go buy medicine, or insist she gets good rest, I have been telling her how to properly cover her mouth when she sneezes and that she should throw away her pile of used tissues. While it's true I'm somewhat of a germaphobe, I also like to think of myself as a nice and caring person. (It is also true that I went back and added the words “somewhat of” in front of “germaphobe” a second ago). I can just see the germs floating about her like the dirt that perpetually follows PigPen around in “Peanuts”.  I'll offer to get water and keep saying “feel better” but don't expect me to be holding your barf bucket as you heave into it. So. Does this make me a bad person? Does anyone else feel this way?

A lot of people tell me that by making myself so sterile all the time, I am actually making my immune system more vulnerable. I have been trying to take this advice. I also know how nice it is when you're the one that's sick and someone takes care of you, no questions asked. When you're sick and someone asks if you want something, you politely refuse help unless you are throwing up blood or slowly choking to death. This is the standard. My roommate has not asked for assistance, but I have not really made any offers...

The truth is, PigPen is lovable—and I should love my roommate enough to try and disguise my grimace as she hacks her lungs out. I am not going anywhere near her growing mound of Kleenex, but maybe I'll bring the trash can closer to her bed so she can throw them away as she goes.  A lot of my frustration could be stemming from the fact that I've just chewed a Vitamin C that was definitely meant to be swallowed.

Whatever it is, I think I've adequately overthought about half-heartedly taking care of my roommate (also my best friend) as she is sick. If you are going through something similar, I think we can conclude that we are not, in fact, bad people, but have just worked this issue out in true germaphobe fashion—by protecting ourselves from it. I'm off to buy some rubber gloves, Emergen-C, and I'll try to make more of an effort.